


My Dearest Wish Is That You’ll Know, My Love For You Forever Grows

by SiesFics



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Character Death, Felix joined Edelgard, M/M, Sylvain did not, Till Death Do Us Part, Tragedy, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25375432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiesFics/pseuds/SiesFics
Summary: Hey Felix, do you remember our first kiss?Do you remember how I would thread my fingers through your hair when you would ask me to braid it?We couldn't keep our promise...could we?
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	My Dearest Wish Is That You’ll Know, My Love For You Forever Grows

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was requested by @shadoephax and is based on their comic about if Felix joined Edelgard but Sylvain did not. You can read it [here](https://twitter.com/shadoephax/status/1278560338011545600)

_Hey Felix, do you remember our first kiss?_

_I find myself thinking about it, about you a lot lately. Do you remember how I would thread my fingers through your hair when you would ask me to braid it? I loved how soft it always was, how thick the strands were between my fingers as I delicately parted it into thirds, crossing them over one another before getting it into that perfect tie. You would always complain, throw some snarky comment, but if I ever tried to leave before I finished, you’d get even louder._

_Do you remember that first night I braided your hair? How after I finished I came around the front, tucking those loose strands behind your ears? Your amber eyes always shone like fire, and your brows knitted together so cutely. I couldn’t help myself, I had to kiss you._

_Your lips were soft and warm, and you tasted like the tea you always loved, Almyran Pine Needle. Is that still your favorite tea? Do you still drink tea? Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself._

_Do you remember your reaction? Your eyes went so wide, your cheeks so red. I just smiled because I was so in love with you. I’m still so in love with you._

_After that first kiss, you demanded I come every evening to braid your hair before bed, get it nice and tight for tomorrow when you’d undoubtedly shake it loose in training._

_I remember every night because I was so excited to spend time alone with you, without our classmates around to block my attempts at affection. You didn’t like people knowing. I loved braiding your hair more than anything in the world, and I loved how afterward you expected a kiss, gentle and kind._

_Do you remember the first time we slept together? It was a few months before...you know, and it was such a magical, beautiful night. I did your hair as per our routine, gave you a kiss but instead of bidding me goodnight, you took my face in your hands and kissed me again. You were so fiery, so determined to show me what you could do. I remember asking you a thousand times over if this was what you wanted, my hands touching every inch of you, mapping you for the future. When you let me inside, I never wanted to leave you. You always saw me for who I was, you’ve loved me despite myself, and I wanted to give that back to you and more._

_Do you remember that night I woke you up, leading you quietly out of the dorms. We had to be quiet or else get caught, but do you remember where I took you? We climbed to the top of the monastery, with a little help from Hilda’s pegasus. I owed her so much for that. Do you remember the stars? How brightly they shone underneath our eyes? Do you remember how cheesy I was? How I told you once we graduated and once I had taken my father’s place, I would renounce my duties and we would get married. I wanted to marry you Felix, I wanted to grow old with you, to wake up beside you every morning and go to bed with you every night. We promised we would grow old together, that we would die together._

_We...couldn’t keep our promise, could we?_

_It’s been five long years, a lot has changed hasn’t it?_

_At first I thought it was lunacy, I was so mad at you when you declared to me you were picking her over us. You said she was right, that crests are the reason everyone suffers, that I should be joining you. I wanted to. Felix, I wanted to. I love you. So much...but I couldn’t. My whole existence was made to support our King, I thought you understood that?_

_I asked for a kiss, our last one. I remember our lips were seared against one another, we had tears in our eyes. I didn’t want to let you go, I want to steal you, keep you forever. But I let you go, watched you walk away and under her banner._

_When she attacked the monastery I saw you fighting at her side. I watched Ferdinand sweep you up on his horse and carry you after one of ours, was it Ashe? Shot you. I remember feeling jealousy fill the pit of my stomach at the sight of another man touching you._

_I don’t have the right to be jealous, we’re on different sides, and yet I remember wanting to run him through with my lance. I was angry with Ashe too, but how could I explain it?_

_“Don’t shoot my ex who is on the enemy side?” Stupid. I’m such a fool. I’m a fool for you._

_Five years of time gone by, missed opportunities, missed kisses, missed moments alone, time spent just the two of us._

_But you joined that side and as I look at you now, on the other side of Gronder Field, your hair...you cut your hair short. That beautiful hair I would braid every night, twirling in my fingers, it’s gone._

_When I look at you, I have no idea what you’re thinking._

_Our eyes lock on the battlefield, you on her side, me on his. You look sad. Do you regret the side you’ve chosen? Do you regret not being at my side? I regret this sometimes. I wish I had gone with you, if only to feel you in my arms again._

_You look away. Why? Felix, look at me...please._

_When I look at you, I can’t tell what you’re thinking anymore. I used to be able to read every expression, every eyebrow quirk, every subtle shift in movement. I knew your body like the back of my hand, could map you with my eyes closed. But now, as I look at you, refusing to look at me anymore...it’s like...I don’t even know you anymore._

_I guess I don’t though, five years of war does that to someone. You look...different, beautiful, but dangerous. When you do finally look at me, it’s with resolve. One of us will break our promise here, but who will it be? I’m telling myself I’ll aim my lance, that you’re just another body in the mass of many, but it’s not that easy, is it?_

_It’s not easy because I know you’re going to search me out, you want this to end on our terms, you want this to be done right._

_Dimitri said something...what is it? I’m not listening, can’t concentrate. All I can think about is you and your amber eyes, your smile. All I want is your arms around me._

_I miss you so much that it hurts._

_Oh._

Sylvain coughed, blood sputtering out, dripping down his chin. The sword that pierced his armor went deep, drove straight through him. His vision was spotty, but he looked, he saw. 

“Felix...you’re crying.” His arms came around Felix’s body, pulling him close, hugging him. His hands, shakier by the second, threaded into what hair was left. Sylvain felt his legs give out, collapsed into the mud, but Felix let himself fall with him. 

“I’m not,” he whispered. 

“Liar…” Felix’s cheeks were stained, his eyes red. Sylvain stared at him, smiling. His breath was catching, it was getting harder to breathe, harder to see. “I love you so much Felix. Will you marry me?” Sylvain whispered quietly. “I never...stopped loving you.” It wasn’t the best time or place for a proposal, and he didn’t even have a ring. But he was dying, he knew that, and he needed to tell Felix everything. 

Felix choked, shoulders shaking. “You’re such a fool Sylvain. Why couldn’t you forget me?!” He grabbed the man’s face, staring at him, watching the light begin to fade. “Yes! I’ll marry you. I love you Sylvain Jose Gautier. You stupid fool.” Felix pressed his lips firmly to Sylvain’s, blood smearing. Sylvain’s fingers grasped Felix’s hand, just holding it, letting the warmth fill him for just a moment longer. 

“Felix…” 

Felix watched. He watched Sylvain’s eyes flutter close, the rise and fall of his chest stop. He watched the smile on his lips fade, he watched the life of the man he loved die out at his hand. 

_It’s not surprising that I broke the promise first, is it? You always had the stronger resolve. We both know I had the jump on you, that I could easily have driven you through with the Lance of Ruin. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t be the one to stamp out that fire of yours. I would rather die, and at least it would be by your hand._

_Hey Felix, do you remember our first kiss? And how I would thread my fingers through your hair when you asked me to braid it? Do you remember when you asked me to grow mine out so you could one day do the same? You looked so determined, so sure of our future together._

_Do you remember how much I love you?_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments appreciated.
> 
> I’m on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/SiesFics)


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